Understanding Our Emotions

At this time, it would not be uncommon for most people to be experiencing various intensities of the “negative emotions” of fear, anger, and sadness. To be very clear, this is entirely normal. These passions are the natural response to an “absence of a good.” As a result of this pandemic, society today is experiencing significant absences of many goods: companionship, routine, work, independence, and even a sense of purpose/direction in the face of so much uncertainty. No community is exempt from this sense of “absence” or “loss,” so it is to be expected that there would be greater instances of these emotions:

Fear (apprehends 'the evil')

• It arises when there is a real or perceived lack of one’s own sense of safety.
  
• As a mood state, like with anxiety, it is often oriented toward the future, particularly when there is a focus on uncertainty, lack of control, and all of the possible negative outcomes that one imagines will occur.
  

Anger (resists 'the evil')

• It is ordered toward resisting injustice, but can also be experienced anytime that we feel frustrated in any goal that is being blocked.
• It is also the normal fruit of having been hurt by someone, tempting the person to hold on to any related resentments.

Sadness (experiences 'the evil')

• It is the experience of the absence of a good.
• It is normally associated with loss, disappointment and loneliness.
• If the loss is significant, it can lead to the deeper experience of Grief, which includes 5 defined stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
  

If you find it difficult to manage these feelings, and/or if they are becoming more of a distraction in your own personal life, I encourage you to reach out to someone. Please don’t carry these burdens by yourself. There are expert psychotherapists that your local community or family care physician can recommend to help and support you however they can.

What To Do?

If you are coping well in the midst of the challenges of this time, praise God and be grateful. Try always to be a source of strength and hope to others in the midst of adversity. This strength and hope ultimately comes from Faith and relationship with Christ. If you are struggling, however, regardless of your current living circumstances, please know that you are not alone. Below are some important psychological/spiritual dispositions that can help all of us to not only endure the current sufferings, but even flourish in the midst of them. This is not a time for self-reliance. It is a time to open ourselves to the vastness of God’s love through the qualities of Vulnerability, Acceptance, Surrender and Trust:

Vulnerability

• In simplest terms, it means an openness to the other, most especially to God.
• This is not a time to try to be perfect and self-sufficient. Anxiety in the face of uncertainty will often tempt us to retreat “inwards” and try to deal with the challenge on our own.
• It means finding a trusted other to share one’s struggle with, teaching him that he is not alone.
• It is a willingness to ask for help if needed, and reach out to one’s friends, spiritual director, counselor or therapist when appropriate.

Acceptance

• In simplest terms, it means acknowledging and embracing truth in our lives, especially when we face circumstances that we can’t control.
  
• It is the willingness to admit my weakness and need for help, particularly the need for God’s strength.
  
• Psychologically speaking, it is a willingness to acknowledge my emotions instead of trying to deny them.
  

Surrender

• This involves surrendering ourselves to God’s love.
• It is keeping my eyes on Him, rather than my own predicament.
• It also involves surrendering the future to God’s providence, rather than trying to “control” it through excessive worry.

Trust

• It is the foundation for the three qualities above.
  
• Trusting in God’s personal love and mercy for me.
  
• Trusting in God’s power and providence.
  
• Trusting in God’s nearness, and his desire to be with me.
  

These dispositions will help us to avail ourselves to the presence of God within, and increase our capacity to rely on God’s grace in all situations, and develop the virtue of gratitude. They will also free us to become more aware and concerned for our neighbors around us.

Practical Tips

• Be sure to reach out to others through video chat or by phone, not just through text or email. Speaking to someone can help reduce feelings of loneliness.
  
• Avoid excessive consumption of COVID-19 related news, particularly if it increases the negative emotions mentioned above.
• Pay attention to physical health, including spending time outdoors. This includes the important habit of taking long deep breaths, which can help reduce anxiety.
• If unable to attend Mass in person, be sure to watch it online on Sunday or even on a daily basis. This practice will reinforce your sense of communion with others.
• Focus on gratitude. This is an excellent antidote to sadness, anger and fear.
• Create a routine and order your day. This can help to deal with anxious situations.
• Rearrange your room in a different way if possible.
• If possible, create designated places for work, prayer and reflection.
• Realize that you are also part of many “communities” at home. Clearly establish your responsibilities and obligations and maintain appropriate boundaries.
• If possible, designate a space for both individual, and perhaps, family prayer.